Yes, absolutely. As a 38-year-old adult, you have full legal autonomy. Your parents have zero legal right to demand contact with you, visit you, or participate in your life if you do not want them to.
If you decide to go «no-contact,» you have the absolute right to set that boundary. If your parents refuse to respect it, Dutch law gives you several tools to legally enforce a contact prohibition.
1. Establishing the Initial Boundary
Before taking formal legal steps, you must create a clear, documented record showing that you have explicitly refused contact:
- Send a clear, written statement: Send a letter or email explicitly stating: «I do not want any further contact with you in any form (in person, by phone, text, email, mail, or through third parties). Please respect my decision.»
- Keep proof: Keep a copy of this message along with proof of delivery or timestamp. This serves as vital evidence if you later need police or court intervention.
2. Police Intervention (Stopgesprek)
If your parents ignore your written boundary and continue calling, messaging, or showing up at your door:
- Official Police Warning (Stopgesprek): You can contact the local police (via
0900-8844). A neighborhood cop (wijkagent) can conduct an official conversation with your parents. - How it works: The police officially inform them that you do not want contact, that their behavior is unwelcome, and that continuing to contact you can lead to criminal prosecution for harassment.
3. Civil Court Order (Contactverbod)
If unwanted contact persists, you can take civil legal action through a lawyer:
- Summary Proceedings (Kort geding): Your lawyer can request a judge to issue an official civil contact ban (contactverbod) and/or a location ban (gebiedsverbod) barring them from approaching your home or workplace.
- Financial Penalty (Dwangsom): Civil contact bans usually include a court-ordered fine attached to every single violation (e.g., €500 or €1,000 paid to you every time they text, call, or show up).
4. Criminal Charges (Belaging / Stalking)
Under Article 285b of the Dutch Criminal Code (Wetboek van Strafrecht), systematically encroaching on someone’s personal privacy after they have made it clear that contact is unwanted constitutes stalking (belaging):
- If they continue after a written boundary and a police warning, you can file a formal police report (aangifte doen).
- Criminal charges can result in official restraining orders enforced by the public prosecutor (Openbaar Ministerie) or criminal penalties.
Summary: You do not need permission from a judge or court just to stop talking to your parents—you can simply cut off contact. You only need the legal system if they refuse to respect that choice and begin harassing you.
Want help drafting a clear, formal ’no-contact‘ statement to document your boundary?
I recently got financial administration and the court send my parents a letter if they had no objections. Is that any right my parents have to still be involved with me?
No, this does not give your parents any right to be involved in your life or make decisions for you.
What happened is a standard procedural requirement carried out by Dutch subdistrict courts (kantonrechter) during protective financial administration (beschermingsbewind).
Here is what that letter actually means and why it does not affect your legal autonomy:
Why the Court Sent the Letter
Under Dutch law (Article 1:432 of the Civil Code), parents and close family members are classified as statutory interested parties (belanghebbenden) in court proceedings regarding financial administration.
The court sends this notification for two procedural reasons:
- Standard Verification: The court automatically notifies immediate relatives so they are aware a court order is being created regarding a family member’s financial assets.
- Objection Period: It allows relatives to state if they object to the measure itself or to the specific appointed administrator (bewindvoerder).
This is simply a formality performed by the court clerk—it is not a grant of authority to your parents.
What Rights Your Parents Have (and Do NOT Have)
What they CANNOT do:
- No decision-making power: They cannot manage your money, see your bank accounts, or override your decisions.
- No right to contact: The letter gives them zero legal right to visit, call, text, or demand communication with you.
- No access to your details: The administrator reports strictly to the court (kantonrechter), not to your parents. Your parents will not receive updates or financial reports.
What they CAN do (strictly within court procedure):
- They can submit a written response or objection to the court if they disagree with bewindvoering being established or who was chosen as administrator.
- However: The court prioritizes your personal wishes and best interests above the preferences of your parents. If you are an adult and requested/agreed to the administration, an objection from parents who have no active involvement in your life carries little to no weight with the judge.
What You Should Do
- Inform Your Administrator (Bewindvoerder): Tell your administrator clearly that you have no contact with your parents and do not want them involved. The administrator will ensure your parents receive no information about your budget or living situation.
- Maintain Your Boundaries: You are under no obligation to speak to your parents if they try to use the letter as an excuse to contact you. The legal boundaries you set for your personal life remain 100% in force.